Low self esteem is created by biased thinking. Biased against yourself.

Have you been complimented and thought “Oh! that was nothing” or “It is what anyone would do” or “It wasn’t very good really” or ” I should have tried harder” or something similar? This is discounting a compliment, and it results in failing to get a positive emotion from the compliment. It is also heard by your mind, which then in effect deletes the compliment from the record, resulting in you losing out on something which would build self esteem.

Have you ever seen a look on someones face and they weren’t saying anything and thought “They don’t like me” or “They think its my fault” or “I have upset them” or something similar? This is mindreading, and results in a bad feeling. The thought is recorded as the truth by your mind and contributes towards reducing your self esteem.

Have you ever been with someone who was upset and ranting? Have you thought “They are upset with me?” or “I must put this right” or “I am to blame” or “Its my fault” or something similar? This is taking responsibility for others feelings and problems, and results in feeling to blame for everything that goes wrong, which lowers your self esteem.

What would happen if instead of this type of behaviour you tried something different?

What would happen if, when someone complimented you, you said “thank you” , just “thank you” and no internal mental commentary?

What would happen if a person says nothing you think “They like me”

What would happen If they rant about something you think “They are mad at life”

What would happen if, only if, someone says very specifically what behaviour of yours upset them, and how it caused them to feel, do you accept responsibility? and then you ask them “what can I do to put that right?” and then you put it right straight away?

Why don’t you try an experiment to find out?

What happens when your thinking is biased the other way? When you are biased in favour of yourself?

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