Self Esteem Promoting Behaviour

Low self esteem is created by biased thinking. Biased against yourself.

Have you been complimented and thought “Oh! that was nothing” or “It is what anyone would do” or “It wasn’t very good really” or ” I should have tried harder” or something similar? This is discounting a compliment, and it results in failing to get a positive emotion from the compliment. It is also heard by your mind, which then in effect deletes the compliment from the record, resulting in you losing out on something which would build self esteem.

Have you ever seen a look on someones face and they weren’t saying anything and thought “They don’t like me” or “They think its my fault” or “I have upset them” or something similar? This is mindreading, and results in a bad feeling. The thought is recorded as the truth by your mind and contributes towards reducing your self esteem.

Have you ever been with someone who was upset and ranting? Have you thought “They are upset with me?” or “I must put this right” or “I am to blame” or “Its my fault” or something similar? This is taking responsibility for others feelings and problems, and results in feeling to blame for everything that goes wrong, which lowers your self esteem.

What would happen if instead of this type of behaviour you tried something different?

What would happen if, when someone complimented you, you said “thank you” , just “thank you” and no internal mental commentary?

What would happen if a person says nothing you think “They like me”

What would happen If they rant about something you think “They are mad at life”

What would happen if, only if, someone says very specifically what behaviour of yours upset them, and how it caused them to feel, do you accept responsibility? and then you ask them “what can I do to put that right?” and then you put it right straight away?

Why don’t you try an experiment to find out?

What happens when your thinking is biased the other way? When you are biased in favour of yourself?

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"We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are." – Anais Nin

What we perceive is filtered through our experience , values, beliefs and knowledge. We don’t perceive reality  – we perceive our version of reality, a model in our minds. If you keep perceiving as you have always done, your world view will stay the same. Did you know that the person who can create and use the most options in any given situation will tend to be most successful? Try shifting your perception, introduce more options, more choices. Do something a different way, see it as someone you know sees it. If you want different results then do something different! Be different and you will renew your self!

NLP focuses on studying success and how success is created and modelling that success. What have you seen done, that you thought “I wish I was like that”? Watch, study, model that behaviour and practise doing it yourself. It will become you!

So if you don’t like things as you see them – change yourself!
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