New Years Resolutions – How are yours doing?

Date: February 20, 2014

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: CBT, choices, counselling, Lifegoals, psychotherapy, self help

Did you make some new years resolutions? How are they doing? It’s not so easy to change your habits is it?

This is the time of the year when people are taking stock of their lives, examining their progress or lack thereof, and contemplating the path they would like to take in the coming year. You undoubtedly have heard many different ways to set goals in previous years, but this year I would like to invite you to set your course from an existential perspective .

The existential perspective can be seen as an invitation to live and not just a list of things to change. As such, this list will call you to a deeper examination of a more meaningful life, help you to begin to view the upcoming year through an existential lens, and, hopefully, empower you to reclaim and truly own your life.

1. Begin with the end in mind: Although Steven Covey made this statement famous with his goal-setting guidance, the end we’re discussing here is not the end of 2013 but rather the end of your life. Death is not something our culture likes to talk about, but it’s important for living a full life. Imagine how you would live your life if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness or if you were 85 years old. Chances are you would spend more time on the things that really matter, like cultivating relationships, playing more, and worrying less.

2. Practice presence: Practicing presence is mindful engagement with the present moment. A person who is present is one who is aware of his or her own experience and, often, the experiences of others. The present person is one who pays careful attention to what is happening in the now, wherever he or she might be, without allowing outside distractions to invade. Practicing presence will deepen your relationship with your colleagues, family, loved ones, and yourself.

3. Positive thinking? Forget about it: Positive thinking, while having some merit, is one of the ways in which people tend to deny their experience. Positive thinking encourages people to focus on the good things in life while forsaking the darker aspects that life also holds. While I don’t believe that wallowing in sorrow or focusing only on the negative aspects of life is healthy, neither is denying their existence. In fact, denying the experience of negative feelings or experiences can be even more harmful later, when the unresolved emotions arise. This year, work on allowing yourself to have your experience without getting stuck in it. Whatever you’re feeling, let it be and then let it go.

4. Choose freedom (and responsibility): Viktor Frankl said “I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast” because he understood that with freedom comes responsibility. In fact, the two are intricately intertwined. If you really want to be free, you have to take total responsibility for your life. Once you do, you will never again be a victim to people, forces out of your control, or circumstances because no matter what happens, you will always be free to choose how you respond to it.

5. Make the journey the goal: When you focus solely on the outcome or the endgame, you lose the value of the journey—and the journey is the richest part. Although there is value in setting measurable goals, don’t get so consumed with the ending that you miss out on what really matters. If losing weight is your goal, keep the big picture in mind but celebrate the smaller goals along the way. Instead of counting success in pounds lost, consider the success in feeling healthy. Wherever you are in the journey is exactly where you ought to be; enjoy where you are while on the way to where you’re going.

As you progress through this New Year, set your goals and resolutions using an existential perspective. I trust you will find a more poignant, powerful, and meaningful life emerging. Here’s to a vivified existence with renewed courage and will. I wish you health, wellness, love, and hope this year and all years.

If You want more tips on New Years Resolutions

If you want more information about goal setting

If you would like more information about Life-Goals Psychotherapy

Have you started feeling low?

Date: January 7, 2014

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: Depression, psychotherapy, self help

Sorry that you are feeling low.

You will get over it fairly quickly and stop yourself sinking into a full depression if you stick to a few simple principles.

First: do get out of bed each day at a regular reasonably early time. Try to eat regular nourishing meals even if you don’t really feel like it. Wash and clean your teeth. This will stimulate your system. Go to bed at a regular reasonable time that means you’ll get about 8 hours sleep. Getting your body clock into a routine will help your mind adjust and stop you from getting into a full depression.

Second: Keep active even if you don’t feel like it. Act as if you felt like it at first, and soon you will. Choose things to do that you will enjoy. Don’t sit and watch TV. Being a passive recipient will leave you time to brood. A film is better than TV if you want to sit and watch something for a bit, because you are likely to be more engaged. Aim to do something active each day.

Third: Talk about how you feel and what is bothering you to a friend. Listen to their response, and then let it go. Don’t keep thinking about it. This is called rumination and will make you feel worse. If only’s and self reproach will not help. If there are lessons to be learned from what has happened then make a vow to yourself that “next time I’ll …..” and then let it go.

If you want to know more about this then read https://www.life-goals.co.uk/natural-ways-…

4 steps to achieving your goals

Date: September 26, 2013

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: coaching, counselling, Lifegoals, psychotherapy, self development, self help

Whether you want to quit smoking, find a new job or lose weight, we all have our very own goals. The problem is, they remain just goals for us, and many don’t take action to achieve them. Some proclaim that they don’t have time; others tell us that they’re impossible.

Well, you can achieve your goals. And it doesn’t have to be an uphill battle. All it takes is some hard work and dedication.

Set the goal
The first step is to establish and understand your goals. I find that writing them down on paper is the best way to get the ball rolling. Without knowing where you’re going, you’re never going to get there.

Go into as much detail as you can. This way you’ll be able to break your goals down into chunks and set your targets, which brings me on to my next point…

Create a plan
Know you’ve detailed what it is you want, and where you want to be, you can start to work on your route. Don’t just aim for the main goal; establish smaller goals that will eventually lead you to your final destination.

Example – if you want to quit smoking by a certain date, don’t just aim to have quit by that point. Make smaller goals to help you get there. So, say in a months’ time, you will have cut down by 5 cigarettes a day, and then up that amount each month. Eventually, when you reach your final destination you’ll have cut down to 0 cigs a day.
The plan is going to make achieving your goals a hell of a lot easier.

Act on it
It’s all very well and good setting your goals out and creating a plan, but if you don’t stick to them the whole exercise is pointless.

It isn’t always going to be easy, but hard work pays off. You need motivation to stick to it, so establish treats when you’ve reached certain mini goals.

If you miss one of your mini goals punish yourself. Do whatever you have to. Keeping on track is going to be the hardest part.

Evaluate
If you’re repeatedly missing your mini goals you need to take a step back, evaluate and then readjust. You might not get it right first time, but if you’re able to assess what you’ve achieved and see where you have gone wrong, you can get there.

We can all achieve our goals, regardless of what they are. It isn’t going to happen overnight, and there isn’t a special formula to get there. We’re all individual so it’s about finding out how best you work.

If you would like some help doing these steps contact me for a free discussion of your needs

Good luck!

The Power of your Thoughts

Date: June 26, 2013

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: choices, counselling, Lifegoals, NLP, psychotherapy, self development

Change your thoughts change your life! Think about it! Our beliefs and assumptions about life are a self fulfilling prophecy. Our minds are programmed to look for confirming evidence to them. We do this because we don’t want to seem mad to ourselves. Unconsciously we need congruence and consistency and for the world to conform to our beliefs. The result is, if we expect bad, that is what we will get, or at least what we’ll perceive happens.

So what would you like to have happen? We naturally move towards goals that we set. Our creative part gets to work without our conscious awareness. So do some housekeeping! Clear out some negative thoughts! Entertain thoughts of hope, and expectations of what you would like to have happen!

There are lots of tools you can use to shape your thoughts and harness their power. If you would like to learn more about them, Contact me now to discuss how you can reach your goals.

Spring

Date: March 15, 2013

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: choices, coaching, counselling, Lifegoals, NLP, psychotherapy, self development

The spring equinox is nearly here (in the northern hemisphere). This tells us that spring has well and truly arrived. Spring flowers are coming up everywhere. Even through snow in some places.

Is your life showing signs of spring? Have you got some key goals decided for this year? Are your plans beginning? Do you know what steps you need to take to bring about what you want to have happen this year?

Spring Flowers

The cycle of the seasons is a great way to give some structure to your plans and progress in your life. The seasons and festivals of the year provide a natural rhythm which can harness our energy effectively and give shape to our life’s journey.

Now is the time to get started on your projects for this year. If you have not already done so, set your self some goals. Get some help to set goals Now is the time to dream of what you want to be like, doing, who to be with, where you want to be, in a few months or a years time. Specific – What specifically do you want to achieve? Measurable – How will you know when you have achieved it? Time limited – When do you want this by?

Decide on some steps that need to be taken to get to your goal. and get your self going! Help to get motivated?

Older and Wiser

Date: August 17, 2011

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: counselling, NLP, psychotherapy, self development

Older and Wiser Review

What do you think about as your birthday approaches?
Presents you will receive? A fun celebration?
How fast the last year seems to have passed?
Do you wonder what you have done with your year?
Wouldn’t it be good to be able to know that you have had a good year, spent it well and celebrate all the had achieved and learned?

Try doing an older and wiser review with me.

Click here for more information

"We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are." – Anais Nin

Date: June 3, 2011

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: choices, coaching, counselling, NLP, psychotherapy, self development, self help

What we perceive is filtered through our experience , values, beliefs and knowledge. We don’t perceive reality – we perceive our version of reality, a model in our minds. If you keep perceiving as you have always done, your world view will stay the same. Did you know that the person who can create and use the most options in any given situation will tend to be most successful? Try shifting your perception, introduce more options, more choices. Do something a different way, see it as someone you know sees it. If you want different results then do something different! Be different and you will renew your self!

NLP focuses on studying success and how success is created and modelling that success. What have you seen done, that you thought “I wish I was like that”? Watch, study, model that behaviour and practise doing it yourself. It will become you!

So if you don’t like things as you see them – change yourself!

For more information Life-Goals

The time of year for planting seeds

Date: January 27, 2011

Author: Ann Ingham

Categories: coaching, counselling, NLP, psychotherapy, self development, self help

It’s the time of year for planting seeds to grow during the year. This has been a regular theme with clients over the last few weeks. I’m not talking about gardening! I’m talking metaphorically about the intentions, projects, developments and changes we wish to bring about in our lives in 2011.

Following the natural cycle of the year, winter and winter solstice is a time for sitting back, reflecting, renewing our energies and dreaming and planning. Do you know what you would like to have happen? If so then now is the time to dream it into being.

Try sitting looking into a fire, or flame if you can’t get to a real fire, and dreaming your dream. Make your dream vivid and exciting. See yourself in your dream doing and being what you desire. Hear and feel the full experience. When you think it pretty vivid and real, make it more so, as if you were turning up the volume knob. Then when its as vivid loud and strong as it can be, let it go. This plants the seed deep in your unconscious mind.

Over the next few weeks, as the light returns and energy comes back, you will find yourself spotting opportunities and taking steps to make your dream happen.

For more information click Life-Goals